How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
