OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You're a waste of cheezeits
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
