The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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