I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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