Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize