just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
