my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
