We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
