So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
