More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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