Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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