just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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