it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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