I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he high fived his dick after we had sex
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
