absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
