She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
