Buhtt sex?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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