So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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