Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
