areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
