i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
