Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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