sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
