I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
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Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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