He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
