does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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