You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
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then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
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ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Did we just second hand smoke crack?