i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
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Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
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I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.