that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
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May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
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its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.