Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i think i scared a bird with my dick
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah