Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
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The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
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In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.