This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT