Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
