I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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