can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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