Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
