If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
honey bunches of taint.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
