its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
