I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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