She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
