Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
