I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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