we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
