The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
