I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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