So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
worst night to have a conscience
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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