I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
