My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
my liver is dry heaving
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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