Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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