how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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