Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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