Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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