i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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