Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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