I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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