is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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