the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We had sex on a dog bed..
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
