I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she smelled like a LAN party
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
