If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
sex in a hospital.. check
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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