I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
