3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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