So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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