We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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