Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Can I color on your dick again?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
