i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
