you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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