You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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