My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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